Building
I’m all about building things. I’ve discovered that is what makes me
tick: watching something emerge out of nothing. It’s great. So far,
it’s been about building software, building apps, woodworking, that
kind of thing. But somehow, i’ve found myself building an entirely new
thing.
People are the final destination
Somehow now i’m faced with the task of building not just physical
things (woodworking), nor abstract things (software), but people. It
came as a realisation recently while chatting with my pastor, that
what i spend most of my energy and increasing amounts of my time these
days is: building people.
Building a person is all about taking them where they need to go.
Finding their goal, passion, calling, whatever it is – and poking
them, cajoling them, convincing them, pushing them, clearing away the
cobwebs from their internal drive, until they get there.
My plan
So i’ve come up with a plan to do this. Its a basic plan for now, and
i’m sure i’ll revisit it and improve on it as the years go by. Lets
call it: ‘leadership v0.1’ for now:
- Connect
- Find their vision
- Convince them it’s possible
- Overcome their fears
- Hold their hands for baby steps
- Follow up
Connect
This is all about connecting with the person. There’s no point doing
anything with them if they don’t trust you, or don’t even like you.
You have to build that bridge. To build the bridge, do whatever it
takes to care about that person’s life. It’ll show, they’ll notice,
and you’ll connect.
Then you need to make yourself available. You must be in regular
contact. Remember: ‘He who spends the most time, wins.’. If your
schedule is too busy for people, take a chainsaw to it. People are
simply more important.
Find their vision
Everyone has a dream, a vision, a calling. Some people know what it
is, and just need to be comfortable with you before they will share
it. Others have never been given permission to dream. For those, you
need to open their eyes to the possibilities that the world has for
their life. Prod, poke, make them dream. Find out what their calling
is. Not what you think they should do with their life, but what they
truly are here for.
Everyone has something, as vague as it may be. Some people know
exactly what it is, and some have a vague dream that will clear as
they step into it. But, like a miner pans for gold, sift their
thoughts until you find it. And once you’ve found it, you must
encourage them to desire the dream.
Convince them it’s possible
Are you a salesman? Well, this is quite possibly the hardest sales job
you’ll ever have: to convince someone that their dream lies in the
realm of possibility. It is contagious: If you believe in someone,
they will catch that belief eventually. It helps immensely to know
that someone else believes in you. And so, you must be that person to
them.
Show them examples of others who have achieved. Be an example of
someone who is living out their dreams. Break down the dream into
concrete, achievable steps. Persuade them that they deserve to
achieve. Build a belief system into them that they are the type of
person that can do great things. Many fear to hope, because of the
disappointment of failure. Convince them to take the risk of hoping
their dreams will come true.
Overcome their fears
Usually, fear is what holds people back from trying something new.
What if i don’t have what it takes? I’ll surely crash and burn. I’m
scared of the pain of failure. What if i try the wrong thing? As grown
ups, we no longer fear the monster in the closet. Most have exchanged
the closet monster for the failure monster.
These fears have to be exposed for what they are: the resistance. Read
‘Do the work’ by Pressfield. Give them the freedom to fail. Once they
know that they’re allowed to fail a few times before they start
succeeding, they’ll be more inclined to jump in and have a go. Put
courage into them so that the sting of failure will not take them out.
Hold their hands for baby steps
Most people don’t know where to start. But they don’t realise that
direction comes after action. The best way to convince them of this
fact is to hold their hands for the first few steps, until direction
kicks in. Do not stress about ‘which direction to take’ at this stage.
What they’re doing isn’t as important as, simply: doing. Try many
things, until one bears fruit. Teach them to take initiative to do new
things related to their sphere.
The main point of this step is to build their confidence, and further
convince them that they do have what it takes, that walking in the
direction of the goal is possible, and that their fears are smaller
than imagined. Also, this is where the nuts and bolts of showing them
the ropes comes into play. But, like my daughter, once you teach them
how to walk, they’ll figure out on their own how to run. So learn when
to take the training wheels off.
Follow up
Excitement is a fading thing. The start of any great goal is full of
it, but the first setback will halve it. The period of drudgery, as we
do the mundane necessities involved will also take its toll. Once the
excitement bank hits zero, they will need their inside drive to push
them onwards. It is your job to fuel their inside drive. Keep their
eyes on the goal, encourage them, celebrate the small wins, and show
them how far they’ve come. Pick them up when they stumble.
People need people. We’re not built to make it alone, we need allies
to spur us on to achieve our goals. Be that ally. Spur them on.
Who’s building me?
Which brings me to my final thought. Who’s building me? If it is my
job to bring out people’s potential, who will do the same to me?
I struggled with this, until i had a realisation: life isn’t a
hierarchy, it’s about each other. Instead of waiting for someone
‘higher up’ to mentor me, i found a group of like minded friends and
said: lets build/spur on/encourage each other. So rather than
entrusting my future to a single mentor, i now have half a dozen of
them. Together, success is inevitable.
